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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26932258">Grounding</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/chai_pandemic17/pseuds/chai_pandemic17'>chai_pandemic17</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Be My Halo [36]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bathroom, Boyfriends, Dad - Freeform, Daddy Issues, Dreams, Dreams and Nightmares, Fluff, Gay, Glasses, Grounding, Heartbeat, Hinata Shouyou is Sunshine, I feel so bad, Kinda?, M/M, Memories, Mentioned Character Death, Mom - Freeform, Mutual Pining, Panic Attack, Panicking, Pining, Poor Kageyama Tobio, Sad, Sad Kageyama Tobio, Scared Kageyama Tobio, Stressed, but i wasn't really trying, calm, i think that's what i wrote, stuffed animals</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 02:54:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,033</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26932258</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/chai_pandemic17/pseuds/chai_pandemic17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The darkness presses in on all sides, suffocating me. Its hands clench around my throat, leaving me gasping and blurry-eyed. I look around frantically; it feels as if half of me is missing, shattered. Through the haze, a faint, flickering glow appears. I wade through the shadows; my legs feel weighed down by time and space.</p><p>TW: PANICKING (attack? I'm not sure- it's mostly just Kageyama using his surroundings to ground himself)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou &amp; Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Be My Halo [36]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1907899</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>61</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Grounding</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I was way too tired to write last night ;-; but I'll hopefully still write tonight's chapter, as well! Anyways, this one was really fun, even if it didn't have any real dialogue. I hope you enjoy!</p><p>(PLEASE tell me if there's something I should change with the panic bit!!)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <em>The darkness presses in on all sides, suffocating me. Its hands clench around my throat, leaving me gasping and blurry-eyed. </em>
  <em>I</em>
  <em> look around frantically; it feels as if half of me is missing, shattered. Through the haze, a faint, flickering glow appears. I wade through the shadows; my legs feel weighed down by time and space.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Shouyou!" </em>
  <em>I</em>
  <em> call. My voice echoes back to me a hundred times over. "Shouyou!!"</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Ka-a-ageyam-a?" The voice that responds sounds like an inhaled breath, sucked in by the darkness. The voice repeats itself, spoken from all sides, all </em>
  <em>around</em>
  <em> me.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>"Shouyou! Where are you?" The </em>
  <em>glow</em>
  <em> burns brighter on my right.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I turn, blinking spots away. The glow seeps from a crack in the ground; the crack is brighter than the sun. I stand at the edge, looking back over my shoulder at the darkness. It snaps its jaws at me, slobbering and clacking and gurgling. The claws tighten slightly </em>
  <em>around</em>
  <em> my neck.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>The closer </em>
  <em>I</em>
  <em> am to the crack, the more my body tingles. It feels </em>
  <em>like</em>
  <em> pins and needles. I step to the very edge, and close my eyes. No warmth is produced from the glow. I lift my foot, and step forward.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>Shouyou's voice echoes all around me, </em>
  <em>whispering</em>
  <em> and </em>
  <em>gasping</em>
  <em> and yelling </em>
  <em>and</em>
  <em> sobbing. It builds and builds and builds and builds and--</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I fall.</em>
</p><p></p><div>
  <p>~•°•°----------------------°•°•~</p>
</div><div>
  <p>I sit up with a shuddering gasp, my hand flying up to my throat. The room spins and careens around me. I stare at the stuffed animal laying on the ground beside me (the patchy teddy bear from last night) and take deep breaths. My throat clenches and my eyes burn. I shut them and relax myself before opening them again. The room has stopped spinning.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>I look up, letting my hand fall. <em>Shouyou's room. Good.</em> I look at his bed. <em>He's still asleep.</em> The door is shut, the window is cracked, and the fan is off.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Trying to slow my heartbeat, I take deep breaths, looking around the room.</p>
</div><div>
  <p><em>"Five things you can see, four you </em><em>can</em><em> touch, three you can hear, two you </em><em>can</em><em> smell, </em><em>and</em><em> one you </em><em>can</em><em> taste. Can you do that for me?"</em> My mother would say that every time I had a nightmare and woke up terrified.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>I nearly always slept in her room at that point, so she was always there when I woke up. After the car accident, her advice still helped, but it took a long time for me to stop being too numb to remember her words.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>I look around the room. <em>A backpack, leaning against the </em><em>closet</em><em> door. A </em><em>stack</em><em> of magazines under the bed. A poster hanging from the </em><em>wall</em><em>. A volleyball on the floor beside me. And a glowing streetlamp outside in the early morning light.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>I take a deep breath, and continue. <em>My blanket scrunched up at my feet. The stuffed bear </em><em>I</em><em> was staring at. Shouyou's hair, ruffling </em><em>slightly</em><em> in </em><em>the</em> <em>faint</em> <em>breeze</em><em> from </em><em>the</em> <em>window</em><em>. The fuzzy carpet.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>My heartbeat is almost normal now. <em>Birds chirping outside. Shouyou's soft breathing. The distant beeping of construction.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>I take the bear in my hands, and clutch it to my chest. <em>The scent of Shouyou everywhere around me. His </em><em>strawberry</em><em> shampoo.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>One last thing. <em>His lips when </em><em>I</em><em> kiss him, sweet and soft.</em></p>
</div><div>
  <p>My heartbeat is normal now, steady and fairly calm. The bear in my hands is soft and squishy, its fur a brown corduroy. The patches are green plaid, and as are the bottoms of its paws and the inside of its ears. A smooth, black button is sewn on as its nose. Its eyes are similar, but a dark brown color, instead. Its belly button and mouth are sewn with black thread.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>I look back up at Shouyou, watching the blanket rise and fall with his breathing. I'm hit with a wave of déjà vu. Not wanting to wake him, since he's sick and needs rest, I silently stand, setting the bear on my pillow. I move to the door and quietly open it, stepping out into the hall. The cold, wooden floor sends a shiver up my spine.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>I slip into the bathroom, and softly shut the door behind me. Then I sigh, and look up at my reflection in the mirror, turning on the light. The unfamiliar bathroom gives me a weird feeling, even though I'd been in it before. I hadn't really processed it the last time, since I was rushing.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>The walls are cream, the counter is white, the cupboards a dark brown wood, and the sink, toilet, and shower are white, as well. The tile floor is even colder than the wooden boards. The mirror shows me my exhausted expression, though it's less tired and more terrified.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Not knowing what to do, I use the bathroom. Then I wash my hands, letting the cool water sharpen my senses. <em>My nails </em><em>are</em><em> getting long...</em> I try to keep my hands in top condition for my tosses.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Finally, I make my way back to Shouyou's room, quietly shutting the door again. The carpet is much more appreciated. I sit back down on my futon, and pull my bag toward me. From it, I grab my toiletries.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Waiting for the sun to fully rise and Shouyou to wake up, I trim and file my nails. Moving through the familiar actions, my mind sluggishly drifts, pushing away my dream. I think of breakfast, and Shouyou, and volleyball, and Shouyou again. Every time I do, my stomach flutters.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>Then I think of my father. It's Thursday, now. Yesterday went by way too fast. I have to go back home on Saturday. On Sunday, Miwa and I will see my father again, where we will decide whether or not we want him to live with us.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>He's my father, even if I haven't seen him for years. Shouldn't he stay? Shouldn't he take care of us? He's an adult, and Miwa barely is.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>But we've been okay without him for so long, now. Our grandmother took care of us until Miwa could. And Miwa is doing great. And now there's Mrs. Hinata.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>My head spins. I decide to think about it more later.</p>
</div><div>
  <p>~•°•°-----------------------°•°•~</p>
</div>
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